Text Luke 15:11-32 The prodigal son. GUC 27 March 2022
“The pursuit of happiness” is one of our most fundamental rights. It is enshrined in The American Declaration of Independence. This is hardly controversial since almost everyone thinks that wanting to be happy is a good thing. If only it were that simple; unfortunately, I see at least two difficulties.
First, there are many people who have done well – basically have everything a person could want – but are perfectly miserable. Many have sought happiness but not found it. Maslow developed his hierarchy of needs. People have assumed, along with Maslow, that if our basic and higher needs were met, we would be happy.
Let’s stop a person on the street and ask. Fred is employed in a public service clerical job, he is married with two adolescent children. He has an income which meets his family’s basic needs (food, water, warmth, rest), and living in Australia meets his safety needs. He has a stable relationship and friends (belonging and love needs). He did a part-time university degree and feels he has achieved something (esteem needs). Notice that we have ascended the need hierarchy. Neither Fred or I know what Maslow, a child the human potential movement, meant by self-actualization which was placed at the peak of the need’s hierarchy. But Fred has recently talked with his GP and has started anti-depressant medication. Maybe Fred should be happy but he isn’t.
There are countless people just like Fred – who have every reason to be happy but are deeply unhappy for no apparent reason. A couple of my closest friends are ‘in the same boat’. They are older and perhaps with more money but unhappy. The second barrier? You will have to wait until later in the sermon. I will have ‘to set the stage’ with the parable of the prodigal son which is one of the best known in the New Testament.
Reflect: There are three people: the younger brother, older brother and the father. Who do you identify with? Think for a moment. Ask yourself why. What life experiences have you had to make such an emotional connection?
Since I am thinking with you about happiness, I will look at the parable of the prodigal son from a different perspective. Preachers usually try to find a central theme in a parable and most find that God welcomes the repentant sinner. I am sure God welcomes all who come to him but that would be a different sermon; I suggest that the three individuals in the parable represent different attempts to find happiness. We will look at each in turn.
- The Younger Brother
Usually parables have a surprising element. Here we need to understand Jewish culture. The younger son demanded his share of the family wealth ‘up front’. This was a profound insult; effectively he wanted his father dead. Something like half of the estate would have been sold at a ‘fire sale price’ (because of the complexity of a sale while the father was alive). Given his share the younger son left for a far country, wealthy but soon “squandered his property in loose living”. He neglected all family responsibilities such adding to the good name of his family, increasing collective assets and eventually caring for ageing parents. Jewish hearers of that parable would have been alarmed. Shocked even. The parable violated all the training a child has from infancy: respect parents, get a trade before assuming an adult role in society, build wealth for the future, gradually assume family responsibilities, live by agreed values and to honor God.
I have a younger son, Christopher, and three older daughters. Now how would I feel if he asked for a share of the family wealth? If, when he was 20 years old, he abandoned law school to live in Kings Cross Sydney (a red-light district) for a few years on say $200,000 which I might have advanced? If he returned broke and desperate a few years later, would I be as welcoming as the father in the parable? Fortunately, I have never had to answer that question. Christopher finished law school and works as a solicitor in a Martin Place law firm in Sydney. Not far from Kings Cross but a world apart.
Now back to the younger brother in the parable. He felt he was lacking something. Clearly, he was unhappy. He went for self-indulgent “riotous living” hoping that it would be fulfilling. As do many people today. This is the appeal of advertising and contemporary culture. I am occasionally on facebook and people picture their notion of the good life: most commonly pictures of travel (pre-COVID), meals, extensions to houses, adventure sports, and new purchases such as a car. I am not a Puritan; all this is OK with me! We should enjoy life and all that entails. Many people put off enjoying even the simple things of life. Woody Allen once quipped that his mother did not believe in life before death. But to be human is to enjoy the warm sun on a fine day. Or a family picnic. Or a good meal and a glass or two of wine. The extremes of self-indulgence are intoxication, party drugs, affairs, binge-eating, gambling. It is a path to immediate gratification but not to lasting happiness. Lasting misery to judge from my clinical experience. The younger brother represents an extreme attempt to find happiness that ultimately did not deliver anything but ruin.
- The Older Brother
The older brother was Mr Responsible. Such polarizing is often found in families. He was faithful to his family, stayed at home and dutifully served his father. When the prodigal returned “he was in the field” (15:25), obviously working. He heard music and dancing as he returned home. Had he even been invited to the party? Perhaps he was forgotten in the joy of the moment. His brother was welcomed with feasting. Imagine how you would feel working all day in the field, perhaps hot, sticky with sweat and coming home exhausted? It is understandable that the older brother reacted with anger. While the father pleaded for him to come in he would not saying, “All these years I have been working like a slave for you… when this son of yours (not my brother)… you killed the fatted calf for him!” The father assured him that he was not taken for granted, “Son you are always with me and all that I have is yours.” (15:31) His future was assured.
But was the older brother happy? No, he was angry and jealous. But his choice of a path to happiness is very common. Thankfully. Being responsible builds family stability, wealth for self and others. Society benefits. Mostly diligence is rewarded. But as good as this is, it does not always deliver happiness. Like the older brother we can feel betrayed by life, “This is not the deal I signed up for!” There are random events: an accident, a diagnosis of illness, a business partner that embezzles, or a reversal of fortune. But even if everything goes well sometimes people remain unhappy in work, relationships and life generally. Happiness is proving elusive if even hard work and being responsible might fail to deliver. - The Father
The father also represents a path to happiness. He honored relationships. You might ask why would the father give half of his wealth to his younger son? It was foolish as events were to confirm. Think of how the father’s relational focus is seen throughout the parable. He gave into the demands of his youngest child. He gives a party to celebrate and to rejoice in the return of “this brother [who] was dead and has come to life; he was lost and has now been found” (15: 32). And he pleads for the older brother to join the party.
The relational way to happiness is also common. We ask so much of romantic relationships, family relationships, even friendships. Sometimes, if my experience is anything to go by, this does deliver considerable satisfaction, contentment and moments of happiness. It is a good thing to invest in relationships, but does it always deliver happiness?
There are no guarantees on the ‘road to happiness’. The way of responsibility at least builds for the future and fulfils present commitments. The relational, the way of the father in the parable is perhaps the most reliable. It is hard to imagine being happy when you are surrounded by unhappy relationships. - A Positive Psychology view of Happiness
Positive Psychology has researched happiness. It provides clues to finding it. A distinction is made between:
(a) Gaining pleasure and pain avoidance. It is good thing if you can enjoy everyday pleasures, but gratification tends to be transitory.
(b) Behaving in line with values. This is more lasting.
Is there a way to act that brings happiness? Erik Erikson developed the idea of generativity: how we provide for those coming after us. It can mean taking an apprentice, building a business to provide employment for others, caring for children or grandchildren, giving a gift to a charity, and support a worthy cause. Note that generativity takes seriously both responsibility and relationships.
Principle: We come to the second barrier. I think it is surprising. Happiness is more likely to be a by-product of doing something for someone else.
Conclusion
There is an old Jewish story about Isaac, son of Yekel who lived in Cracow. He was old and somewhat disabled. Three times he had the same dream that there was a treasure buried under a bridge leading to a castle in Prague. He took his cane and set out on foot for the long journey. He arrived there exhausted. He was waiting by the bridge which was guarded by soldiers. Eventually the captain noticed him. ‘Why are you here?’ He told the captain his story and the man laughed ‘foolish man. Years ago I had a dream of a treasure buried in Cracow. The treasure was hidden under the stove of a man named Isaac son of Yekel. Probably half the people in Cracow are called Isaac and the other half named Yekel. It is ridiculous to follow your dreams.’ The rabbi smiled and returned to his home and dug beneath his stove and found the treasure. He used the money to build a house of prayer.
I believe that we have our treasure here in this GUC community. We don’t have to go on a journey to find it, we are surrounded by a richness in relationships. The message of this sermon is simple: Don’t pursue happiness, you will find it elusive; be responsible, relate to and help others and happiness with find you.
Dr Bruce A Stevens (PhD Boston University) was the Wicking Professor of Ageing and Practical Theology at CSU (2015-2019). He was ordained in the Anglican Church and served full time in parishes 1980-1993, and later in honorary roles. He is an endorsed clinical psychologist. He is the supply minister at GUC.
References
Jolanta Burke, Happiness after Thirty: The Paradox of Aging, Dublin, JUMPP Publishing, 2016. Freely available www.jolantaburke.com
Russ Harris The Happiness Trap Google his website.
Dan P. McAdams, Ann Diamond, Ed de St. Aubin, and Elizabeth Mansfield. “Stories of Commitment: The Psychosocial Construction of Generative Lives.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 72, No. 3 (1997): 678-94.
See Richard Ryan and Edward Deci (2001) “On happiness and human potentials: A review of research”, Annual Review of Psychology, 2001