Text: Turn other cheek (Matt 5:38-42).
“But I say to you, do not resist an evil doer. If anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also; and if anyone wants to sue you and take your coat, give him your cloak as well; anyone forces you to go 1 mile, go also the 2nd mile. (Matthew 5:39- 41).”
When we meet Jesus in the pages of the NT, he is someone completely unexpected. We are told to do the opposite of what would be our natural reaction: turn the other cheek, give your cloak as well as your coat, if someone forces you to go a mile – go the second mile.
I am continuing the series of psychological interventions and spiritual growth.
Principle:
All emotions activate us to respond. Stimulus response. It is Psych 101. All biologically wired in us as humans. The technique of Opposite Action (OA) encourages us to pause and to choose to do the opposite. It is contrary to our usual biological response and what would happen naturally.
We can start with some biological responses. Thirst tells us we need to hydrate; we drink water. Hunger tells us we need food, naturally we eat. Fatigue tells us to rest and we sleep.
If you want to change how you feel or even think about something, do the opposite of what you find natural. This challenges the status quo and subverts what might be problematic in your life. This technique is from Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), but Jesus understood it 2000 years ago!
Perhaps you have heard what seems silly advice. If you are feeling down put a smile on your face? It works on the principle of Opposite Action. You will feel better, but no grimaces allowed!
How to:
Now for some more problematic responses. Anger gets us ready for fight flight, to attack or defend. The opposite is to do something expressing thoughtfulness or kindness. Shame gets us ready to hide. We want to self-isolate. So opposite is to hold our head up, make eye contact and relate to another person. Guilt can lead to self-punishing thoughts, the opposite would be to list things you have accomplished and feel good about.
If you want to remain in an emotion, do what is triggered. That is the natural response but it doesn’t change anything. If you want a reaction to go away, or to become more manageable, do the opposite action.
Used in Psychology:
This has been applied in psychological treatment. For example,
Fear gets us ready to flee. The opposite is to go towards, face danger and build courage.
Depression gets us ready to be inactive, opposite is to be active.
Guilt can lead to positive actions such as being ready to repair, but if you have apologized and done what you can. The opposite action is to stop apologizing and ruminating. Get on with your life.
Behaviour Activation has long been part of CBT. The idea is when a person has low energy or almost zero motivation, usually as a result of feeling depressed, they are encouraged to go for a walk or undertake some sort of exercise. You can see how this is similar to opposite action. It helps on a number of levels: the release of endorphins or the natural feelgood hormones are the quickest way to lift mood. And eventually physical fitness, which is an essential part of self-care, helps us become more robust emotionally.
Opposite action is more specific. The psychologist encourages a person in counselling to identify the emotion and then understand the urges to action, but do the opposite. For example, with someone feeling sad, after expressing it and exploring the meaning, he or she might be encouraged to engage socially.
NB. It is important to get to basic emotion and not a masking emotion. This insight is found in Emotion Focused Therapy (google for more details).
Relevant to Spirituality:
When I first began to study theology I thought the most questionable doctrine of orthodox thought was the impassibility of God. This was understood as God being above emotions and not feeling. My immediate thought was that it would make God to be distant, cold and indeed less than human. It also seemed to be in stark contradiction to the biblical witness of a God with abundant emotional colour. In reality the doctrine was trying to make a subtle point for God is not dependent on creation, that is to react emotionally, that is with involuntary emotions. I will leave it to you to explore this further, if you have even the remotest interest.
But with humans all emotions are natural. To be accepted not resisted or fought against. Emotions are part of how God made us, so their integration is part of our spiritual progress. Sometimes we are tempted to think that being spiritual is to be removed from the practical realities such as our emotions or the physical aspects of our life. Not true. It is better to think in terms of spirituality claiming every aspect of our life. Spirituality, properly understood, brings out our best self.
It is clear from the teaching of Jesus that we need to reflect on our inner life. Our emotions, our thoughts and how these lead to right action. When we are on a negative cycle, opposite action can enable us to hit the pause button and reset.
Opposite Action opens up spaces for possibility.
Cecily had a very active life prior to her accident. She was injured as a pedestrian crossing the road. She had minor disability but it meant that she could not be as active in the church, for example for many years she had organised the church fête. She entered a grief process and eventually she was able to accept her loss of mobility. At some level she found that she resented God for allowing the accident to happen. She was distressed to find herself thinking: “God you allowed that to happen, so if the church fête falls into chaos, it’s your fault!” At her lowest point she was tempted to give up on everything including coming to church, but slowly she acknowledged what she was feeling and her natural reaction, in small steps she did the opposite of what seemed natural, and gradually undertook a limited range of activities. This time in a supportive role. Slowly, but surely, she was able once again to find meaning through serving others.
Where do you feel stuck in your spiritual life? Experiment with opposite action, it will open up spaces for a different response.
Conclusion
Willie Sutton was asked why he robbed banks. He thought for a moment and answered, “because that is where the money is.” It is a simple but profound insight that our focus is to be on Jesus Christ because spiritually “that is where the money is”. But sometimes the way is not wide and straight, more narrow and twisted. Opposite action acknowledges that sometimes we get stuck and need to find a different response.
Rev Dr Bruce Stevens is a supply minister at GUC, previously a clinical psychologist.